Friendz 4nevar!!!*

Hey! NO! Not on my watch!!
I have no life, therefore, your duty as my
buddy is to do as I say.

You will not have a life either.
I can't sleep, you don't need sleep either.
Really, don't you see how I function normally like everyone else? I have a stable
mind.

You have a what? A significant other? A pet? A family?

Well, its OK. I am an attention whore and need to put you through my constant drama.
I will get myself into online confrontations and you HAVE to be there for me to fix my online life/ego/self-esteem.

Failure to follow these requirements and to provide me with the attention I need every waking second because I can't get a life and can't get laid will bring serious consequences.

1)You run the risk of being taken off my Buddy List forevar!!1!1one!!
Try me!!!

2)You might be temporarily ignored while my childish fit goes away.
The length of this may vary on the level of Pussyfication. You will suffer as you
see me online and will not receive my messages.
I may be found in another chatroom, pretending to be having fun
and be like OMG LuLz OSM NOWAI!

3)Depending on the severity of the pain in my arsehole, I may or may not threaten to
make your online life miserable. Fear the wrath of my E-thugness!!!!

With that said, won't you be my friend?





























*For dramatic and narrative purposes this blog contains a fictional monologue, composite and representative dialogue, as well as time compression.
READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED